Pointy Eared Disasters
by Jamille Shane
Summary: Four Starfleet Academy cadets find themselves in more trouble than it's worth perpetuated by one betta fish, one very naughty little boy, two Romulans and two Vulcans. How much trouble can four young ladies get into? We're about to find out. A five-shot to be updated as fast as possible! This story is total tongue-in-cheek and not meant to be serious!
1. Off-Campus Apartment

Off-Campus Apartment

"I can't believe this place is ours!" Bea said with a huge grin as she looked around at the great place they'd scored.

They had gotten the apartment, a huge two bedroom, a week before. Since they were now forth year students in Starfleet Academy, the rules were different and they were now allowed to room off-campus.

Bea and her cousin Lina shared one bedroom while Jan and her cousin Rosemary shared the other. The bedrooms were very large. Bea and Lina decided to take advantage of the space of their large room and put up bunk beds and a huge area rug. But Rosemary and Jan decided to split their room literally down the middle. The ladies had flowers in vases all over the apartment.

Since there was a strict pet policy in the building, Jan had brought her betta fish Captain Wentworth along but no one else was allowed to have a pet. It was the only thing, in their opinion, that sucked about the apartment. Lina had given thought to getting a fish but still hadn't made up her mind.

They had moved in and applied some serious elbow grease to clean the place up. "It's time to go get Stevie from daycare," said Lina.

"Oh, that's right!" Bea said with wide eyes. "What time does his mom come to pick him up?"

"She'll be here at six."

"Okay, so we keep the little rugrat for one hour a day for two month until her new position starts?"

"Yep," Lina answered.

"Let's go get him."

Rosemary and Jan were on their way into the apartment just as Bea and Lina were on their way out.

"Hey, guys," said Bea. "This weird salesman guy came by for you, Rosemary."

"Me?" she asked. "What did he look like?"

"Well he said he was a Romulan senator or something, but who believes that?" Bea waved it off. "He had all these products he was trying to give me for you, but I know he was just trying to sell them or something. Probably some kind of druggie. He did look all skinny and lizardly. We gotta go get the rugrat now. See you guys later."

The door closed and the two girls still there started putting dinner together for the four ladies. Captain Wentworth, in his fishbowl, was very happy to see the woman that fed him. "How's my baby doing?" Jan cooed at him as Rosemary shook her head in disbelief.

"I cannot believe you talk to that fish."

"He's the only boyfriend I've had since we got to Starfleet Academy," Jan sighed.

"None of us have had any luck in that area," Rosemary tried to make her feel better. "So technically you've had a man the whole time and none of us have."

Jan looked at the fish. "You hear that, Cap'n Wentworth! Over two years and we're still going strong!"

##

"So what did he do to that was wrong?" asked Bea of the daycare worker.

The lady, a stiff-faced thing with a bun that looked too tight, declared, "That boy is a menace!"

Lina had the boy by the hand, a little four year old by the nickname of Stevie. He had the most angelic face and deep dark hair and eyes. "Oh come on, lady, he's four," said Lina. "Who's the adult here, you or him?"

"That boy has been nothing but trouble since he arrived at this institution of early learning!" the woman declared.

Bea sighed. "Ok, fine. We'll tell his mom to call you and you can talk to her about it. We're just his babysitters, after all."

"Fine!" said the woman with a pinched expression.

They walked out of the place and Lina was asking him, "What did you do now?"

"I opened the outside door and I let the cats in from outside the classroom!" he said with the hugest grin. "And then I said a bad word out loud!"

Bea and Lina frowned. "Don't say any bad words out loud anymore," Lina upbraided him.

"But I just shouted it just like this! BOOTY!" he yelled at the top of his lungs.

Half the heads on the street turned and looked at him with stark disapproval while Bea had to squelch a deep well of laughter trying to roil to the surface. "Don't do that anymore," she finally got out. Lina had to turn around and laugh into her hand, she had been so caught off guard by the boy shouting his 'bad word' out loud.

"Let's go home," Lina forced out while holding in the rest of her laughter.

##

By the time the ladies got home, they could smell eggplant parmesan baking in the oven. "That smells so good!" declared Lina as she hugged Rosemary. "Have I told you lately I love your cooking skills?"

"Yes, you have. But you have to make desert," she reminded her.

"I got fruit earlier. I was going to make parfaits tonight with gluten-free graham crumbs. I got coconut soygurt for yours."

"Excellent!" Rosemary declared with a huge grin.

Jan was tossing a salad off to the side when Bea said, as she looked out of a window, "That Romulan is back again!"

Not five seconds later, there was a knock at their door. Lina was the first one there and she opened the door only a tiny crack. "Who are you and what do you want?"

Vreenak found himself face to face with the suspicious face of a short brown girl with very curly long hair. "I was trying to ascertain if Rosemary is here?"

Lina squinted at him. "Stay right there." She closed the door. "Rosemary, should I tell him to go away?"

"Would you guys stop being so suspicious?" she upbraided Lina and Bea. "He could be perfectly harmless!"

"Or a crazy axe murderer," Jan said out of the side of her mouth as she put the salad on the table. As soon as the door opened fully and they all saw the Romulan standing there, Jan couldn't help but notice her fish swam into his little fishy house and would not come back out. She looked down at Stevie and whispered, "Captain Wentworth doesn't like _him_ very much."

"So I wanted to know, Miss Rosemary," Vreenak was saying with a huge smile on his face, "maybe you would like to accompany me on a-"

But Stevie wasn't having it. He got to the door and shouted at the Romulan, "Captain Wentworth _doesn't like you_!" and slammed the door in his face.

"Stevie!" said Rosemary, horrified.

Bea and Lina were able to hold in their laughter since they were used to the boy's antics by then, but Jan, having been caught totally off guard, was really laughing out loud. Rosemary gave her cousin the dirtiest look and then flung the door open to see if she could catch Vreenak, but he was already long gone.

Vreenak walked down the street, fuming with anger. "Who is this Captain Wentworth? I will find him and ruin him!"


	2. At The Gym

_A/N - My son had the day off from school so I am stuck at home. I figured, well why not write? LOL!_

* * *

At the Gym

The next day was Friday. The ladies were happy about that because on Fridays they went to the gym where their favorite Zumba instructor gave a high-impact class at 6:30. So after giving Stevie dinner, they took him with them in order to meet his mom there so she could pick him up.

"Your mom just sent me a message on my PADD," said Lina as she sat on the bench waiting for Bea to come out from changing into her gym clothes. "She'll be here in five minutes."

"There's Captain Weirdo," Stevie whispered and pointed at the Vulcan walking into the gym. Lina had given him a serious talking-to as soon as she picked him up at daycare about shouting things all of the time.

Lina's eyes widened as she spied Captain Solok walking into the gym, "Sweetie, don't ever say that out loud again."

"But why not?" he asked, confused. "That's what _you_ called him. And I didn't said it out loud," he whined.

Just then, Bea walked out from the back of the gym decked out in the shortest shorts possible on top of some leggings and a belly shirt. "I'm all ready for class!" she declared happily as she was wondering why Lina had that stricken look on her face.

Bea turned and saw that it was Solok walking up to them. "Uh I gotta go!" Lina said quickly, dropping the ball in her couin's lap. "Stevie's mom should be here any minute now. She's just running five minutes behind. Later!"

"Lina!" Bea hissed at her.

"Well I have to change into my gym clothes, too!" she protested as she took off for the locker room.

Bea took Stevie's hand in her own and then looked up at her former instructor. The man seemed to have a personal vendetta against her ever since she showed up at Starfleet Academy. "Sir," she greeted him frostily, a tight smile on her lips.

Before Solok could get a word out, Stevie looked up at him with a huge grin and told him, "Somebody called you Captain Weirdo but I'm not supposed to say who."

"Stevie!" Bea said in censure. She looked over at Solok's very stern face. "He doesn't know what he's-"

"Titi Bea says you're cute, though!" the little boy spilled the beans. "But Captain Wentworth doesn't like you either!"

Solok's head reared back as if he'd been hit. "Captain Wentworth? I am unaware of the name of said captain."

Stevie's mother ran into the gym then, in a rush. "I'm so sorry I'm late!" she said to Bea as she kissed her on the cheek. "Mi jefe es un imbecil!" she declared. "I told him I have to pick up mijo, but he acts like he doesn't care!"

"Don't worry about it, you're only ten minutes late," said Bea. "Lina told me, she just ran in the back to get changed."

"Thank you so much and tell her I said thank you, too!" said Stevie's mom and then she herded him out of the gym.

"Miss Wilder," Solok said. "You watch children in your spare time?"

She floundered for a second. It was the most civil he had ever spoken to her since the first day they had met. And then she remembered she was finished with all of her classes with him. "What's it to you, sir?" she asked, only halfway rude.

He was surprised at her tone. "Pardon me?"

"Well it's obvious you don't like me," she said. "You don't like humans for that matter, so what do you care what I do in my spare time…_sir_?" she added for emphasis.

He found himself mysteriously liking her combative stance. "Miss Wilder, this is a side of you I have never seen."

She rolled her eyes. "Well you were my professor before but you're not now, so I don't have to take your crap anymore. What are you doing here anyway at _my_ gym?"

He was truly taken aback, then. "I shall leave, if it is what you prefer."

"Um, duh? You've been a jerk to me for three years, why would I want you around now?"

"You never showed such vitriol toward me in the past."

"You're my superior in the classroom, how convenient for you. So you get to abuse your power and make the little people cower!" She turned. "Enjoy the sight of my backside as I walk away, _sir_!" she said as she pointed at her well developed booty in the leggings and too-short shorts.

The ladies went to their Zumba class and thoroughly enjoyed themselves. They emerged from the room all sweaty and happy after that. "That class was great!" Jan declared.

"Who's that guy smiling at you over there?" whispered Lina.

"Oh, I don't know, but I think I want to know," she smiled at him. "Is he a Romulan? Oh, he's cute!"

He walked right up to the four ladies, then. "My name is Bochra. And I've been watching you all evening," he said to Jan.

"You're speaking my language!" she winked at him.

"Do you want to go over to the health food bar and get a protein drink?" he asked as he put out his arm.

She took his arm as she looked back at her friends. "I'll see you guys later," she said breezily as she walked away with him.

Lina and Bea grinned. "He works fast!" Bea laughed.

Rosemary looked truly miserable. "Well I lost my Romulan."

"Yeah," laughed Bea, "to a fishunderstanding!"

"You're a strong woman!" Lina said, trying to give Rosemary confidence.

"That's right, strong!" Bea threw in.

"You don't need a man!" Lina said.

"No, you don't!" Bea cosigned what she said.

"Not even a Romulan?" Rosemary whined.

Just then, Vreenak himself walked into the gym.

"How in the world did he know we were here?" Lina asked.

"Because I followed you!" he said.

"What?" Rosemary asked, confused. "You what?"

"I've been following you since yesterday!" Vreenak admitted. "And come what may, I will discover whoever this Captain Wentworth is!" Bea and Lina by that point were laughing behind their hands. "I see I am nothing more than a laughingstock to you and your friends!" Vreenak almost whined.

"He's a fish!" shouted Rosemary impatiently as she tried not to laugh.

Vreenak blanched, "First this one," he referred to Bea, "calls me 'lizard' and now you've just called me a fish?!" He looked at the other two girls and decided to put himself on the line anyway. "Rosemary, I do not know who this Captain Wentworth is that's captured your heart. But would you agree to coming with me this evening for dinner? Give me a chance? I would treat you much better than he ever could!"

"We'll be leaving soon," said Rosemary trying not to laugh too hard, but wanting the date with the tall Romulan. "I could go home and get changed and-"

Bochra and Jan walked up then. "I couldn't help but overhear," said Bochra. "We could double since Jan refuses to go out with me alone for this first time."

"Perfect!" Vreenak declared. "We'll see you two in two hours!"

The two Romulans walked out, very satisfied with themselves.

"They get dates," Lina grinned, "and you get Solok."

Bea smiled halfway. "No, Solok got a quarter moon."

"What?" asked Lina.

"Come on," Bea said to the four girls. "I'll tell you all about it on the way home."

##

After the set of cousins got cleaned up, Bea picked their outfits and Lina did their hair, Rosemary and Jan left for their double date. The other set of cousins still at home sat in the apartment enjoying rocky road ice cream. "We shouldn't be eating this," Bea said as she ate another bite.

"Yeah, we just went to Zumba tonight."

"Well you burn like 900 calories in that hour, so like technically if we didn't get a huge amount of calories in us afterward we might like pass out and stuff."

"Yeah, yeah, what you said," Lina agreed quickly as she ate another bite of ice cream.

"Every time you eat rocky road it's because you're thinking of that loser. Are you still all heartbroken over that guy?"

Lina sucked her teeth. "No!" she declared as she shoveled another teaspoon of ice cream into her mouth. "Well, yes," she admitted as she chewed miserably. "He was a colossal jerk of magnanimous proportions!"

"Yes, he was," agreed Bea. "But this habit of rocky road ice cream has got to stop."

"You're eating it with me!" protested Lina.

Bea paused, trying to find a good excuse for the indulgence. "Well it would be wrong to make you eat it alone!"

"Good point," Lina nodded.


	3. Two Weeks Later

Two Weeks Later

"Look!" Rosemary gushed as she held the box in her hand that had just been delivered. "It's from Vreeny!"

The girls all held in laughter at the nickname she'd given him. She had driven them crazy with constant talk of 'Vreeny' since two weeks before when they'd started dating. Jan, on the other hand, had said barely a word about Bochra even though they were still dating, too. She was being very tight-lipped about her Romulan.

"Well what's in the box?" prodded Jan.

Rosemary tore the thing open and the four girls oohed and aahed about what was in there. It was the latest PADD that had just come out in stores two days before. "It's the PADD Thai 360!"

"It's got the newest net interface and you can watch four shows at the same time!" Lina gushed.

"He must love me!" Rosemary shouted.

Jan pointed at her betta fish. "Captain Wentworth is not happy about this," she joked.

Rosemary smiled at the fish. "Would you like to watch fishies, little fishy?" She pulled up the old Earth movie Ponyo. "Here you go!" And she placed the PADD in direct sight of the fish on the shelf.

"She gets a new PADD and the fish gets a movie," laughed Lina.

"Captain Wentworth is worth it!" Jan said.

Someone's message tone went off just then. "Speaking of PADDs," said Bea. "That's mine." She went and got it, turned it on and frowned.

"What is it?" asked Lina.

"It's Solok. He wants to see me in one hour in his office."

"Do you think you're in trouble for that last time you guys spoke?" asked Lina.

Bea shook her head. "I don't think so. I think he'd have called me in way sooner about that." She started getting her things together. "I better get going now if I want to get there on time."

"I'd come with you," said Lina, "but Taurik's coming over to study."

"Oh, Tauuuurik?" teased Bea.

She sucked her teeth. "He's just a study partner, okay?"

"Sure he is," teased Jan. "And Bochra's just a stand-in for the man of my dreams." All of the girls were now laughing at Lina. "Who do you think you're fooling? You've got it bad for that Vulcan."

She waved them all off. "If you will all excuse me," she said as she went to go and do her hair. "I've got curls to get in order."

She disappeared into the back. "Oh, she totally loves him!" Jan laughed.

Bea left then to go see Solok at his office.

##

The moment she arrived, Solok found himself entranced with her non-caring attitude. "What do you want?" she asked as she strolled in and sat casually in a chair.

"I have asked you here because I believe you are under the wrong impression about me."

She rolled her eyes. "Okay, say what you need to say and make it quick. It's my turn to cook dinner at home tonight."

"I am hard on cadets so that they will achieve their greatest results possible in all fields. Can you not agree that under my tutelage and drive you were able to attain greater results in your endeavors?"

She shrugged. "I guess so."

"Then you agree it is only logical that you give me another chance?"

She frowned. Chance? Chance at what? "Sir?"

"You should allow me to take you out for a meal and perhaps we may connect in a way other than student and instructor."

Bea only sat there staring at him for a whole five seconds. She wasn't breathing, blinking or even thinking. She came back to life and began looking around herself. "Where's the cameras?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"What in the world did my friends do convince you to pull this off?" she asked as she started checking all around his office for surveillance equipment. "I appreciate a joke just as much as the next person, but this has gone too far!"

"I am not in jest, Cadet Wilder!" Solok insisted.

"See, if you meant what you just asked, you wouldn't be calling me 'Cadet Wilder'!"

"It is your name, is it not?"

"And I suppose you were born in formal wear!" she shouted. "I'm outta here!"

"Where do you think you're going?" he snapped.

"Just because you're my superior doesn't mean you have the right to make fun of me!" she yelled and then stormed out of his office.

##

Taurik was about to leave just as Bea was walking back into the apartment. "The man is a jerk!" Bea declared loudly.

"Things didn't go well with Solok, did they?" asked Lina.

"He tried to prank me!" she shouted.

Taurik's eyebrow shot up. "I highly doubt that."

"Well what do you call it when a Vulcan who's been nothing but mean and combative suddenly suggests you go to dinner to get to know him better?" she shouted. "That's a great big JOKE!" she said and then burst into tears. "I'm going to go and take a shower!" she blubbered and then walked to the back of the apartment to get her things together. "I'll cook dinner in 10 minutes!"

Taurik's eyebrow rose even more. "I do believe your cousin's predilection for illogic has reached an all-new high."

"What'd you say about my cousin?" snapped Lina.

"I simply stated that-"

"Well you can get out then!" Lina said and then opened the door.

Taurik, confused, walked to the door. "May I ask what I did wrong?"

"She's hurt and all you can do is speak badly about her? Well then good-bye till next week!"

He had the door slammed in his face.

Lina turned and looked at the betta swirling in his bowl. "Good riddance, right, Captain Wentworth?"

And the fish swirled on.


	4. One Month Later - Chocoholics Anonymous

One Month Later – Chocoholics Anonymous

"Oh my goodness, guys!" Rosemary shouted as she was looking through the news reports on her PADD. "Listen to this! 'Captain Solok of Starfleet Command has been dismissed from his position at Starfleet Academy. He's being charged with letting a controlled substance make him become a slacker on the job. The tribunal said he can't have his job back until he enters rehab!'"

"What in THEE HECK are you talking about?" asked Bea as she walked from the back of the apartment with her mouth dropped open.

"It says it right there in the article," Rosemary insisted. "He even got in trouble for trying to knock over a 7-11 for their peanut butter cups!"

Lina found herself barely able to contain horrified laughter. "You done did it, Bea! He became a chocoholic. It's all on you, girl!"

"I refuse to believe that!" Bea said.

"Maybe it's all just a big misunderstanding," said Rosemary with the most unconvincing look on her face.

Jan floated out of the bedroom then and flashed her hand. "Guys, look what Bochra gave me last night!" There was a cute medium sized Romulan gemstone on her finger. It was green.

"You're getting married?!" Lina shouted.

"Yes, I am! Next weekend!"

Bea declared, "He works fast!" But she was still distressed about Solok in the back of her mind.

##

They were all crowded into a bridal den trying to pick out bridesmaids dresses. "Please don't make me and Bea wear anything longer than mid-calf?" Lina begged. "We're short enough as it is. It'll look like we're walking into the ceremony on our knees."

Jan smiled. "I'll have mercy on you guys. You get to pick whatever dress you want, just stick to Romulan green."

All of the girls looked at one another, just a little horrified. "Green?" asked Bea.

"Do you mean like mint julep green?" asked Rosemary, "or like aqua gr-"

"Deep green like Romulan blood!" Jan declared with a strange look on her face.

"She done lost her mind," Lina muttered almost to herself.

Trying to change the subject, Bea asked, "How are you and Vreenak?" to Rosemary.

Rosemary's face turned red. "Well, we had a little bit of a disagreement yesterday and um… things being as they are, we um… I um… We broke up."

"What?!" asked all three of the other ladies, horrified.

"What happened?" asked Jan as she put a hand on her cousin's shoulder.

Rosemary tried to act as if she wasn't concerned. "Well, you know, when you have such a fundamental disagreement over something like," she began to sniffle, "you know, LOVE, that it's _NOT_ AN INFERIOR EMOTION and the person can't admit that, it's time to walk away." And then she was crying. And then Jan started crying. Soon Lina and Bea were sniffling and then crying.

The lady from the bridal den walked up to them, then. "Ladies, ladies! You're supposed to be planning a wedding!"

"Men are beasts!" declared Bea to the suddenly frightened lady.

The woman was looking around her, horrified. "Ladies, you're going to make our other clientele rethink their decisions to get married."

"Men are fools, I say, FOOLS!" Rosemary screamed. She looked around at the other brides waiting their turn. "Flee! Flee, I say! Flee while you can free ladies of the world!"

The other girls in the store began screaming and a good chunk of them took off running out of the establishment.

##

"All right so now we're kicked out of the bridal store," sighed Jan. "I didn't like that place anyway."

"They were playing turbolift music," Lina complained. "Who does that?"

"I'm sorry," Bea said to Jan. "I started it."

"And I finished it," Rosemary admitted.

"And I laughed my butt off as chicks went flying out of the store," Lina added.

Jan shook her head. "That's all right. I can't believe I was going to try to make you guys wear deep green gowns. It's like I was possessed or something. So, sea green it is, aqua."

They found another bridal shop with a larger staff and began to shop again. They found the cutest tea length aqua dresses for Jan's midafternoon wedding. It covered their knees, but it wasn't too long and both Lina and Bea were satisfied they wouldn't look like children in them.

Jan found her dress that day, as well, and was measured. The store assured her they could have it replicated and then tailored to her within four days.

They all left the shop relieved and happy. It was Lina and Jan's turn to cook dinner, so Bea and Rosemary sent out the invitations to her wedding.

"You're actually inviting Vreenak?" asked Rosemary, miffed.

Jan looked at her apologetically as she stirred the tofu crumbles in the pan. "That was Bochra's choice. Sorry."

Bea frowned. "Why is Solok invited?" she asked, horrified. "I mean, is he even out on his own recognizance yet?"

"Guys, we should really find out if that was just gossip in that paper," Lina said as she chopped garlic. "I can't believe Solok would fall off the chocolate wagon like that badly. Knocking over a 7-11 for peanut butter cups? Like for real?"

"Why is that so hard to believe?" asked Jan.

"Well if I was going to jack someplace for their chocolate, peanut butter cups would not be the first chocolate on my list," Lina said as she turned and started chopping mushrooms. "A sister have to get herself some Godiva or something!" she laughed.

There was a knock at the door and Rosemary opened it to see a fine Bajoran guy standing there. "Holy cr—Hi! How are you?" she asked.

"Hey, I just dropped by to give Lina back that holodeck program I borrowed from her." He had the dreamiest eyes and his earring was a blend of silver and gold. His face had to have been sculpted by the Prophets themselves out of fine marble or something.

All of the ladies in the house just stood or sat there, staring. Food began to burn. Lina woke up. "Oh, thank you, Gionas!" she ran to him and took the program back from him. "You didn't have to come all the way here to give this back to me. You could have waited until we saw each other at school."

Jan took the almost burning tofu crumbles off of the stove and set them aside. She began looking for a casserole dish.

The two friends stood there talking, Gionas still in the hallway of the building as Lina stood at the door. And then Taurik showed up.

"What are you doing here?" Lina asked the Vulcan, confused. "We're not supposed to study tonight."

"This place is turning into Grand Central," muttered Bea.

Taurik very unmistakably looked Gionas up and down. "I was not aware you had company."

"Gio just dropped by to give me back my holo program," she nodded.

The Bajoran smiled widely. "Gio. I like that nickname. Thank you. I'll wear it with pride."

Lina found herself giggling as Taurik turned green in the face.

"Yo, Taurik!" Bea took his attention for a minute. "Is all that stuff true about Solok? The chocolate bender and ripping off peanut butter cups and stuff?"

Taurik sighed. "I did see him entering a chapter of Chocoholics Anonymous not two days ago." He looked at Lina, then. "Association with human females can lead one to felonious acts." Lina's mouth dropped open at what he'd said, but she didn't get a chance to get a word out over it.

"So he _did_ try to steal peanut butter cups?" Bea asked, horrified.

"No. That was not Solok. The papers got him mixed up with another being with pointed ears, though how that is possible is beyond me. Solok never stole anything, he has simply been suspended until he gets his chocolate dependence under control."

"Well what human female led to some other pointy eared guy stealing peanut butter cups?" asked Lina, confused.

"That would be Senator Vreenak," Taurik said as he continued looking at the Bajoran as if he were a very uninvited guest.

"Vreeny!" shouted Rosemary as she stood, horrified.

"Yes," said Taurik. "I happened to be there for the unfortunate event. And as the senator was being taken away by the authorities, he was shouting some nonsense about losing his woman to a 'Captain Wentworth'. That did not make sense to me because the only Captain Wentworth I am aware of is swimming in that bowl," said Taurik as he looked at the fish.

Jan looked horrified. "Oh my goodness! What now?"

Taurik sighed. "Given his diplomatic situation, he was released immediately. Both he and Solok are currently at a meeting of Chocoholics Anonymous and they are both confused as to how one hard to find Captain Wentworth has stolen their women."

"Well why didn't you say something?" asked Lina.

"Would I have been believed, do you suppose?" asked Taurik.

Lina's mouth dropped open at the circumstances and both Bea and Rosemary exchanged uncomfortable glances. Gionas said, "None of this is making any sense to me."

"Then you should go home," Taurik said, halfway threateningly.

Gionas suddenly looked slightly intimidated as he said to Lina, "I'll see you next week in class."

"See you then," she said as he walked away. Then she looked at Taurik. "What is wrong with you? And what are you doing here?"

Taurik looked at Jan. "I received the invitation to Jan's wedding in my inbox. I decided to stop by and let her know that I shall be attending on my own."

"You can bring a date!" Jan informed him as she started pouring the tofu crumbles into the casserole pan.

He put his hand up. "The one I wish to bring is also attending the event. Good evening to you all," he said and then left.

Lina closed the door, thinking nothing of what he'd said. But Jan was grinning at her. "What?" Lina asked.

"Oh, nothing!" grinned Jan.


	5. Wedding Showdown

Showdown Wedding

"I can't believe this day is finally here!" Jan gushed. "I'm marrying the Romulan of my dreams!"

Her friends all looked at her in her lace and silk gown and smiled. "You look so ethereal, Jan!" Rosemary complimented her.

"Thank you!" Jan smiled happily. "Okay," she turned and looked at them. "Rosemary, I'm sorry, but Bochra really wanted Vreenak in his wedding, so I paired him up with you."

Rosemary wanted to kill her cousin, but it was her day and she sighed and nodded. "I can do this for you for one day," she sighed.

"And Bea, you're going to walk with Bochra's friend, Letant."

"Oh, really?" asked Bea as she looked around. "Which one is he?"

"The one with impeccable taste," said Letant himself as he walked up and took Bea's arm.

She found herself slightly speechless. "Oh wow."

"Yes, I have effect at times," he said.

Jan smiled at Lina. "You can walk with Rekar."

Lina frowned as she looked across the room at him. He smiled at her and she mostly smiled in return. "I think he scares me or something," she whispered to the other girls.

Everyone took their places and walked down the aisle, one by one. Lina began the line and walked down with Rekar. She could see Taurik giving her Romulan partner some serious death glares. She wondered what had gotten into Taurik lately and just shook her head.

The next one down was Bea with Letant. Bea found herself thinking Letant was kind of handsome, but then she saw the stink-eye Solok was giving him and wondered what his problem was. _Probably high off of Swiss Miss dust as I live and breathe… You're not supposed to smoke that, Mr. High and Mighty!_

Rosemary walked down the aisle on the arm of Vreenak. The two of them were mysteriously silent with one another.

Little Stevie walked up the aisle holding, of all things, Captain Wentworth in his jar. He had promised not to drop the fish and the little boy was walking so very carefully and slowly with him. He truly was a menace, but he loved Captain Wentworth.

The ceremony went off without a hitch. It was afterward that the fish fry hit the fan.

##

They had the reception immediately afterward outside. Everyone was sitting at their respective tables. Certain groups of people were giving one another 'looks', here and there. One broken up couple in particular started that party right. They were in a low-voice snippy argument that became louder and louder.

"Well you said you couldn't feel such an inferior emotion as love!" Rosemary shouted at him.

"I did not say that! I SAID I couldn't feel such an emotion for a woman whose heart belonged to someone else!" he said.

"Who else does my heart belong to, you silly man!" she demanded.

"Your Captain Wentworth!" he shouted.

Solok stood, then and asked, "Yes, who is this Captain Wentworth? Is he here? I demand he step forward!"

"Y'all done lost your minds," Lina muttered as she sipped on a pina colada.

"Do you deny that he exists?" Vreenak shouted at Rosemary.

"Heck, yes, he exists, he's just not who you think he is!" Rosemary shouted back at him.

"Oh so you'll claim you don't love him now!" Vreenak demanded to know.

Bea wanted to shrink down in her chair as Solok stepped to the front of the room and said to her and Rosemary, "How can two beautiful intelligent women allow one male to trap you in his harem?"

"Yes, this Captain Wentworth, where is he?" demanded Vreenak. "I want satisfaction right now! We will engage in a duel like none other!"

Jan was sitting there, red in the face, trying not to laugh really hard. Bochra stood. "Um, I think there's been a serious misunderstanding here."

"What do you know of this Wentworth person, Bochra?" Vreenak demanded to know.

"Yes, tell us this instant!" Solok said.

Bochra pointed at the fish sitting between him and Jan. "That's Wentworth."

Both Vreenak and Solok refused to believe that was the infamous Captain Wentworth. They turned and looked at the little boy, Stevie. "Young man," said Solok sternly, "come here this instant."

Stevie, used to being in trouble, walked slowly to Captain Solok. "Yes?" He just wanted to know what he had done now! He had walked slowly to the front of the wedding like they asked him and hadn't dropped Captain Wentworth even once!

"Who is Captain Wentworth?" asked Solok.

Stevie pointed at the fishbowl. "He's right there!"

Both men looked at him as if he were crazy. "When you declared that I was not liked by Captain Wentworth-" Vreenak began.

Stevie laughed. "When you came to the door, he ran into the fish house and didn't come back out! So he doesn't like you!"

They looked at the bowl and Captain Wentworth in fact had run into his little fishy house and wouldn't come back out.

Vreenak looked terribly embarrassed as he stared down at Rosemary. His eyes had gone all soft and sentimental. "My dear. I've done the unforgivable. I hurt you because I was under the misassumption that your heart belonged to another. Forgive me?"

She stood and jumped into his arms. "Yes, I forgive you!"

And then Vreenak went one better. "Marry me, Rosemary! Be my wife!"

"Yes, yes, I'll marry you, you tall drink of Romulan ale!"

Letant gave Bea the most suggestive look, then. "I see marrying human females has become quite the trend?"

Bea almost giggled. But then she saw Solok running toward them with a section of the wedding cake. "Solok!" she shouted as he assaulted Letant over the head with it.

She found herself shocked and horrified as the two men were in a physical altercation… over her, of all people! "Guys, this isn't dignified! You have to stop this!" she was saying.

Lina stood and said, "I got this!" as she went into her purse. She had anticipated something awful like this happening, though Solok being the one involved had not been in her mind. The petite girl pulled out a Godiva chocolate with almonds. Both men stopped in their tracks.

"Ahhh!" she said with a grin. She walked up to Letant, broke the chocolate bar in half and tossed it to him. "Go eat that."

Letant walked off eagerly, munching on the half a chocolate bar. When Solok went to follow, Lina said to him, "If you ever cared for my cousin you better go and apologize for the spectacle you put on today and for being a total jerkface to her for the past three years!"

Solok seemed pulled out of his chocolate spell as he looked down at Lina, fully chastened. "She will never speak to me again."

"How are you going to know if you don't try?" she asked him. "I like you, man. I want you to be family. Now swallow your pride, get over there and say something!"

Solok sighed and turned, squared his back and walked as if he were entering a den of lions. Lina stood off to the side and watched as she heard him saying, "Please, forgive all that I have done, Cade—Bea. I wish very much for you to speak with me this evening, at length."

Bea looked like she was thinking about it. She bit her lower lip and sighed. "You are not allowed to be mean to me or talk down to me ever again, do you understand?"

"Most assuredly."

"Because then you're out the door!" she lay down the law.

"Yes, my lady, I understand fully."

She stood with a smile on her face. "Now come over here and finger-kiss me."

"At once," he declared and then rushed to her side.

Lina grinned. "My work here is done," she said as she went to go and get herself a refill of her virgin Pina Colada. Taurik was standing behind the tiki bar with a determined look on his face. "Lina," he said, "you will attend at once!"

She put her hand on her hip and asked him, "What are you talking about?"

And he was backing her up into a corner then. Lina realized that not a soul was around. Uh-oh. "You will not be in the company of the Bajoran again, is that understood?" he asked.

Her eyes widened. "What is wrong with you?" she asked, still not getting it.

"You belong to _me_," he declared. "And it is clear you are what he wants!"

She was shocked. "Taurik? Do you have a fever or something?"

"No, it is not that time." It hit her then what he was trying to tell her. But he spelled it out for her loud and clear. "I enact the rite of koon-ut-so-lik! We shall bond immediately and then conceive our first child as soon as we graduate next year!"

"Oh, snap!" Lina found herself shouting. "So you think you're going TELL ME instead of ask?" She began walking way.

Taurik caught up to her, grabbed her and put a kiss on her like she didn't believe. "Does that convince you?" he asked.

"Yeah, um, I'll marry you," she said dizzily.

Three years later

"Solok, honey, it's time for the twins to get out of the pool!" Bea said as she read a romance novel. Her stomach was huge since she was pregnant with babies number three and four.

Lina walked by, grumbling. "I feel like I'm the size of a bus. My butt is probably the same size as my stomach!"

"That's how Taurik likes you!" Bea teased.

Taurik looked over at his very pregnant wife and halfway grinned.

"We're here!" shouted Vreenak as Rosemary walked in with their one year old in her arms.

"Jan's right behind me!" said Rosemary.

Jan walked in with a red-headed pointy eared boy in one arm and a pointy eared newborn baby in a sling hanging off her other side. "Come on, Bochy!"

Bochra walked in with toddler triplets in a stroller.

"I'm pregnant again!" Jan announced.

"Woo!" Bea shouted.

"You ladies are crazy," Lina said as she huffed down into a chair and Taurik rushed over to rub her shoulders and back.

"Crazy in love!" Vreenak smiled at Rosemary.

Solok sat up, alert. "Someone has a chocolate bar in their bag."


End file.
